Brandon Lee (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} uberblee) wrote,@ 2006-07-15 22:34:00 |
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George Costanza Wallet
My wallet is big.
Yeah, big.
Not, like, full of money or anything, mostly receipts and stuff like that. It's become a great topic of conversation that basically starts with "hey, have you ever seen that episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza's wallet is overflowing with stuff, and at the end he loses everything and isn't able to return the recliner?" Well, basically, that's my wallet. It's large, it's full of crap, and I had minimal desire to clean it out.
Basically, after a while, once it became more/less legend amongst my group of friends, I thought that cleaning it out would have to be an event. Either, I have a lot of people over while I do it, or I live-blog it. But, the problem with live blogging it would be that I wouldn't be able to post pics, I could just talk about it. I figured that this was pretty much a "BINWOP" type entry ["Blog is nothing without pics"], so I just kept putting it off.
...until today.
I got a memory stick for my camera...and now...let the cleaning of the wallet begin.
This is the wallet to begin with. This isn't it at its worst. At its worst, I had to use a rubber band to close it. From other angles:
...and now the fun part: wherein we run down the contents!
Top row: CVS card, Lids passport club card [Exp. 12/31/05], DCI membership card [not used since MLB Showdown Nationals in 2004]
Bottom row: Verizon Wireless contact numbers, McDonald's gift card [from when, I don't know] with less than a dollar remaining, Periodic Table of the Elements [My PT, from my sophomore year chemistry teacher Mz. Larson]
My CTA cards...only one of which is still valid. The Chicago Card can still be used. The U-PASSes expired at the end of their respective semesters.
These are the close up expiration dates of the other CTA cards. None of them had more than a dollar on them at the time of expiration.
My IDs...I need them. I tried to use that Waldenbooks card one day, and they had phased out the program without my knowing it. Basically, I haven't gotten much at Waldenbooks since.
My ATM cards, which I need. Well, I only need one of them, the one without anything else on it will be shredded. The B&N card I still use, and the Prom ticket was...well, only used once.
Cubs schedules! I've kept all of them in my wallet dating back to 2002. I also have the Bulls from 04-05. I have two 03 Cubs schedules because, well, that was definitely the best year out of the last five years.
The complete cash contents of my wallet. My friend gave me a 2 dollar bill one day because he didn't want it anymore. I've now built up about five of them over the years.
I still carry around two Lane Tech IDs. These are from my Sophomore and Senior years. The freshman one was in very bad condition, although I don't know why I don't still have it. The Junior one was given to one of my friends who moved to Florida. I also sometimes carry a Jewel-Osco Preffered Card, but that's not pictured since my mom needed it one day. Dominick's still kinda sucks, though. Oh, by the way, there's still 50 dollars on that Borders card.
Target receipts! From left to right: Blank video tapes, The Office season one, Grey's Anatomy season one.
This was given to me while leaving the hotel after Prom. I did not at all intend on going, I don't know why I kept it.
Ticket stubs! Two Cubs/Padres games from early in the year last year, my Belle and Sebastian/New Pornographers stub, and the ticket from the Letterman/Faculty Softball game that I didn't go to [played chess instead, definitely had more fun; that was also the day Mark Prior got hit in the arm with a line drive against the Rockies and had to miss a lot of games...that pissed me off]
Two more Cubs stubs, and the Blackhawks Opening Night stub. It was the only Blackhawks game I watched this past year in full.
Movie stubs! Top row: Star Wars Episode III midnight showing, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Batman Begins. Second row: Inconvenient Truth [most recent: from yesterday!], Family Stone, Walk the Line.
Egad, more stubs. Top row: Junebug, March of the Penguins, Howl's Moving Castle, V for Vendetta, Hotel Rwanda [yeah, that little blue thing is how they do tickets at the Davis Theater]. Second row: Broken Flowers, War of the Worlds, Million Dollar Baby [oldest stub; from 1/29/05], Only the Brave advance screening...check it out later when it hits wide.
The money I've given to UIC has been documented on those recipts.
A wonderful Message by George Carlin, given to me by Lane Tech psychology guru, chess master and liberal lion Mr. Parsons on report card pickup night after first quarter senior year.
Records of four transcripts I sent to various colleges from Lane, as well as a textbook record card for my AP Government book.
The schedule given to me the start of senior year. I didn't miss a day of classes [maybe a first for a senior who had never gotten perfect attendance for a whole year ever in previous years]
The manager at Popeye's across the street from Lane would give these to everyone. When I went there a couple times last year, he was no longer there. It was pretty sad.
Album purchases! Destroyer's Rubies, At War with the Mystics and The Life Pursuit.
More albums...You Forgot it in People, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea and The Loon.
Two permits for getting out of class that I never turned in. One was to videotape the Memorial Day assembly, the other was to take the AP European History test.
My friend Alex went to the Cubs convention before last season and got me a Believe bracelet. I believed...but I shouldn't have...damn Cubs.
A pin, which speaks the truth. I was wearing it one day, and it fell of the base, so I just stuck it in my wallet.
A coupon for 2 dollars off Duracell hearing aid batteries that expired 10/28/2005.
Two UIC parking passes...just in case, I guess...
A stack of other receipts and sheets of paper that really had nothing of note on them.
Bank receipts...ugh...most of the damage came from these guys. 44 receipts in all. I guess I could say that I use the ATM quite a bit.
The total things going back into my wallet.
...it's empty...it looks so relieved...
After I was done, I checked it out one more time, and I found a penny. He's staying, too.
So here we are, the end product. So...much...thinner. Carryable, now, even.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. I'll try not to go insane like that again.
My wallet is big.
Yeah, big.
Not, like, full of money or anything, mostly receipts and stuff like that. It's become a great topic of conversation that basically starts with "hey, have you ever seen that episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza's wallet is overflowing with stuff, and at the end he loses everything and isn't able to return the recliner?" Well, basically, that's my wallet. It's large, it's full of crap, and I had minimal desire to clean it out.
Basically, after a while, once it became more/less legend amongst my group of friends, I thought that cleaning it out would have to be an event. Either, I have a lot of people over while I do it, or I live-blog it. But, the problem with live blogging it would be that I wouldn't be able to post pics, I could just talk about it. I figured that this was pretty much a "BINWOP" type entry ["Blog is nothing without pics"], so I just kept putting it off.
...until today.
I got a memory stick for my camera...and now...let the cleaning of the wallet begin.
This is the wallet to begin with. This isn't it at its worst. At its worst, I had to use a rubber band to close it. From other angles:
...and now the fun part: wherein we run down the contents!
Top row: CVS card, Lids passport club card [Exp. 12/31/05], DCI membership card [not used since MLB Showdown Nationals in 2004]
Bottom row: Verizon Wireless contact numbers, McDonald's gift card [from when, I don't know] with less than a dollar remaining, Periodic Table of the Elements [My PT, from my sophomore year chemistry teacher Mz. Larson]
My CTA cards...only one of which is still valid. The Chicago Card can still be used. The U-PASSes expired at the end of their respective semesters.
These are the close up expiration dates of the other CTA cards. None of them had more than a dollar on them at the time of expiration.
My IDs...I need them. I tried to use that Waldenbooks card one day, and they had phased out the program without my knowing it. Basically, I haven't gotten much at Waldenbooks since.
My ATM cards, which I need. Well, I only need one of them, the one without anything else on it will be shredded. The B&N card I still use, and the Prom ticket was...well, only used once.
Cubs schedules! I've kept all of them in my wallet dating back to 2002. I also have the Bulls from 04-05. I have two 03 Cubs schedules because, well, that was definitely the best year out of the last five years.
The complete cash contents of my wallet. My friend gave me a 2 dollar bill one day because he didn't want it anymore. I've now built up about five of them over the years.
I still carry around two Lane Tech IDs. These are from my Sophomore and Senior years. The freshman one was in very bad condition, although I don't know why I don't still have it. The Junior one was given to one of my friends who moved to Florida. I also sometimes carry a Jewel-Osco Preffered Card, but that's not pictured since my mom needed it one day. Dominick's still kinda sucks, though. Oh, by the way, there's still 50 dollars on that Borders card.
Target receipts! From left to right: Blank video tapes, The Office season one, Grey's Anatomy season one.
This was given to me while leaving the hotel after Prom. I did not at all intend on going, I don't know why I kept it.
Ticket stubs! Two Cubs/Padres games from early in the year last year, my Belle and Sebastian/New Pornographers stub, and the ticket from the Letterman/Faculty Softball game that I didn't go to [played chess instead, definitely had more fun; that was also the day Mark Prior got hit in the arm with a line drive against the Rockies and had to miss a lot of games...that pissed me off]
Two more Cubs stubs, and the Blackhawks Opening Night stub. It was the only Blackhawks game I watched this past year in full.
Movie stubs! Top row: Star Wars Episode III midnight showing, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Batman Begins. Second row: Inconvenient Truth [most recent: from yesterday!], Family Stone, Walk the Line.
Egad, more stubs. Top row: Junebug, March of the Penguins, Howl's Moving Castle, V for Vendetta, Hotel Rwanda [yeah, that little blue thing is how they do tickets at the Davis Theater]. Second row: Broken Flowers, War of the Worlds, Million Dollar Baby [oldest stub; from 1/29/05], Only the Brave advance screening...check it out later when it hits wide.
The money I've given to UIC has been documented on those recipts.
A wonderful Message by George Carlin, given to me by Lane Tech psychology guru, chess master and liberal lion Mr. Parsons on report card pickup night after first quarter senior year.
Records of four transcripts I sent to various colleges from Lane, as well as a textbook record card for my AP Government book.
The schedule given to me the start of senior year. I didn't miss a day of classes [maybe a first for a senior who had never gotten perfect attendance for a whole year ever in previous years]
The manager at Popeye's across the street from Lane would give these to everyone. When I went there a couple times last year, he was no longer there. It was pretty sad.
Album purchases! Destroyer's Rubies, At War with the Mystics and The Life Pursuit.
More albums...You Forgot it in People, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea and The Loon.
Two permits for getting out of class that I never turned in. One was to videotape the Memorial Day assembly, the other was to take the AP European History test.
My friend Alex went to the Cubs convention before last season and got me a Believe bracelet. I believed...but I shouldn't have...damn Cubs.
A pin, which speaks the truth. I was wearing it one day, and it fell of the base, so I just stuck it in my wallet.
A coupon for 2 dollars off Duracell hearing aid batteries that expired 10/28/2005.
Two UIC parking passes...just in case, I guess...
A stack of other receipts and sheets of paper that really had nothing of note on them.
Bank receipts...ugh...most of the damage came from these guys. 44 receipts in all. I guess I could say that I use the ATM quite a bit.
The total things going back into my wallet.
...it's empty...it looks so relieved...
After I was done, I checked it out one more time, and I found a penny. He's staying, too.
So here we are, the end product. So...much...thinner. Carryable, now, even.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. I'll try not to go insane like that again.
